Hello! Good morning! Happy Monday! Happy December!
I just paused my journaling to come and write this post. I was reflecting on why I felt in such a rush, such a race during a conversation with my friend yesterday. I found myself sitting here and recapping what we discussed, so that I can feel like I can remember it all better. I felt like I was in a full sprint the entire time. In fact, I was huffing and puffing at points (a bit of an exaggeration) – trying to catch my breath. I repeat – I was walking. I was walking while catching up with a dear friend, and I wanted to squeeze in as much as I could into the conversation. I was rushing every thought.
Part of me is sitting here and wondering if I explained everything clearly and in the best light… Part of me wonders how some of my comments came across… Part of me wonders if I could have done a better job of listening – truly focusing in on what Rach was sharing and not focusing in on my follow up question or comment…
We have known each other for over 16 years now – college friends. We know each other. We get each other. We support each other and have always considered our friendship to be ‘easy’. It really is! A beautiful, easy, fun, carefree, joyful friendship. I could go on and on, but what I am trying to analyze for myself here is WHY do I feel the need to unpack our conversation right now? To recap what we discussed?
Not every conversation we have feels rushed. I definitely put that on myself yesterday and I didn’t need to. I wish I hadn’t. I had the time. I made the time. I wanted the time to chat. There is always going to be so much to discuss, catch up on, ask each other about, etc. I didn’t need to perfectly convey all of my thoughts and feelings. I could just talk. I could just listen. I could just simply enjoy a wonderful phone call with a wonderful friend.
I make all of these assumptions.
I overthink.
I almost think I went into the phone call with a bit of a ‘plan’ as to how it was going to go – what we would catch up on – pick & choose topics because there really was SO much to debrief on! I was so excited to connect! To align our schedules to make the call happen! In fact, it was incredibly easy to make the call happen, and we could probably connect on a much more regular basis, but the point is this – as I reflect back on a very special catch up call with my dear friend – I realize that it’s okay that we just scratched the surface in terms of what we caught up on, it’s okay that we touched on several different topics and bounced all over the place, it’s okay that I would have liked to elaborate on something more…
It’s all okay.
We’re super close friends.
We know each other.
We get each other.
Just getting on the phone was enough.
Everything else was a bonus!
I will always have more questions.
I will always have more comments.
Time is so precious, but I am not in a rush. I am not in a race.
THIS IS IT!!!
Spending part of my Sunday afternoon catching up with a close friend was just so lovely, and I don’t need to pick it apart or overthink it anymore.
It was refreshing! Reinvigorating! Fun! Carefree!
Good friends are SO GOOD to have in our lives!!!
I am so grateful!
I love recapping my days. I do feel that is a good thing to do, and regardless of it’s good or not – I love doing it! Adrian & I recap our days with Bryson more and more now and it’s so awesome!
I don’t need to recap every conversation I have.
I can just have a great conversation with a great friend and leave it at that.
It was so great!
On that note…
Baby Carson is officially up…
6:47am, he gave us more time this morning!
It’s going to be a great day!
With love,
Izzy
♥️
calculatedchaosofthemind 