Today is still November 10, 2025. Meaning – I am already back to write yet another blog post! How cool is that!!! Again, “cool cool” as our soon-to-be two-year-old would say.
This is turning out to be a pretty fantastic Monday!
& to think Fridays are usually my favorite day of the week!
- neutralize judgement with curiosity
- no original thoughts
- Modern Wisdom podcast
- two under two
- gentle comparisons are healthy
- it’s the intention behind the comparisons that eventually may lead to some unhealthy judgement (ego!!!)
- married to a first responder
- marriage takes work
- all relationships take work
- we don’t want easy, we want hard
- our inner child
- minimalism
- information overload
- fine lines & aging
- human being
- Eckhart Tolle
- the four virtues
- stoicism
- are we all just faking it until we make it to some extent?
- we all have something valuable to share
- limiting beliefs
- friendships & relationships in general
- bring it back to the basics
- keep it super simple (KISS)
- nature
- less is more
- owning our emotions
- regulating our emotions
- the grumpy monkey book
- there will always be something to do, that to do list is never going away…
- flying alone with Bryson & Carson
- Adrian reminding me to stay true to me
- Adrian believing in my dreams simply because of the conviction in which I spoke about my dreams
- my dreams
- in an ideal world…
- what is in my control & what isn’t
- control is an addiction
- celebrations, birthdays, special gatherings – almost forced to pause life to simply enjoy quality time
- I had NO clue I would be where I am today 3 years ago…
- wedding celebration/ 5 year vow renewal ~ to look forward to with our loved ones
- home ownership
- living in my bubble
- instilling a sense of awe in our children
- we don’t need much
- checking my ego at the door
- more comparisons
- assumptions – when you assume – you make an ass out of you and me *genius*
- all part of our path
- one big learning opportunity
- do we want life to happen to us?
- feel the feelings
- get out of my head & into my body
- pay it forward
- return your shopping cart
- kindness is key
- two ears, one mouth
- we all want to be seen, heard, and validated
- we’re all in this together (cue high school musical soundtrack)
- why can’t I remember more from my childhood?
- binge drinking days
- numbing myself to avoid feeling
- hormones
- postpartum hair loss
- fine lines (did I mention that one already?)
- beauty is within the eye of the beholder
- Tank
- empathy – more empathy would make the world a better place
- sometimes I really wish I could stay in touch with friends and family better, really do, but I am currently not willing to give up the quality time I have with my kids to do so & I hope everyone understands that right now…
- one day Bryson, Carson, and our next one will be in school for most of the day… cue tears!
- learning that Bryson’s ‘late’ birthday of November 23 means he will start school later than others – WAHOO!
- it’s all about balance
- less pressure, more love
- take it slow
- have fun!!!
…
Well, it’s a good thing the trash trucks woke up baby Carson from his nap. I don’t know why I felt compelled to just start listing all sorts of ideas buzzing around in my mind in terms of future talking/writing points, but that felt like the right thing to do in the moment. So much to keep understanding about myself and the world around me! I paused to check on Carson who is making up for his 30 min nap earlier with a 2+ hour nap right now, wahoo! (I loved learning that when he wakes up crying that typically signifies that he has not had enough rest so Adrian and I know to try to get him back down for more sleep.) Game changer! No more grumpy Carson!!! Baby Carson ‘should’ be waking up smiling! 🙂
Anyways!
After leaving Carson’s room, I was able to pick up a call back from a new therapy office. I start back up with a new therapist this Wednesday. Yes!!! Excited!
I have been searching for a while, and I am optimistic about this new office and new therapist. Excited to keep learning more strategies to help me be the best version of myself! For me & for my family!
I want to hold myself accountable to the true changes I want to enact in my life.
Finding better balance. Radical acceptance. Honoring myself today and my inner child. Embracing my flaws and imperfections. Less pressure, more love and compassion. One day at a time – there is no rush, there is no race. Stay curious! & continue to model this for our children. Empathy and kindness for all. Pause more often. Pause before I reach for my phone because I feel I need to send that text, make that call, respond to that voice note. Take a moment. There is no rush. This is my one beautiful life and I want to enjoy it and live it the fullest. I know I have big dreams and plans. I know I have a lot I want to say and do and accomplish in my life. I know I want to keep connected with everyone I care about so much. I know I want to do good in this world and be good and instill goodness in our boys. I can do it all. I will do it all. Just one day at a time… There is a time and a place for everything. Right now, today, I am focusing on myself and baby Carson. Spending quality time with myself and my thoughts. Spending quality time with Carson while Bryson has a sleepover at Grandma’s house and Adrian is on shift. Stay in my lane. Focus on what I can control and let go of what I can’t. If not, I am going to miss it all. I am going to look back at photos and videos and not remember the feeling because I was so focused on what’s next and capturing those moments with those photos/videos. Put down our phones. Look up! Live in this very moment. Continue to love, support, and cheer for my friends and family as they all progress forward with their lives. I am not missing out by not being able to stay connected the same way. I would miss out on what’s right in front of me if I continued to stay so focused and overly connected to those all around me. It’s not selfish or bad to want to focus on what’s right here in front of me. This is my life. I can choose how I want to live it. I can own how I want to live my life, how I want to raise our kids, how I want to balance my work, family, marriage, etc. I’m just trying to do my best. I wish the best for everyone else around me. I have been putting so much unnecessary pressure on myself for so long. I have set such high expectations that I can never truly meet. So, therefore, I end up feeling like I am not doing enough, I can’t keep up. It’s okay that my priorities are constantly shifting and re-shifting. I don’t need to justify myself. I am a human being. I am learning and growing every day. Who I was last month and last year is not the same as who I am today. Neither are the people around me. We are all learning and growing and evolving. We are all just trying to do our best. Empathy for myself and others. More love and kindness and compassion, please! Less worries, pressure, expectations, stress.
This is it!
I want to just BE.
Be Izzy.
Be a mom. Be a wife. Be a daughter. Be a sister. Be a friend.
Just be!
Don’t overcomplicate this, Izzy.
I am doing a good job.
I care. I care a lot. I want to do my best. But, as Adrian constantly reminds me, let’s aim to do 1% better each day. I don’t need to solve all of my problems today. I don’t need to have it all figured out today. I don’t need to do it all today. One day at a time…
I am proud of who I am.
I am proud of my husband, our children, our family.
I am proud of my siblings and friends.
I am just so happy to be living such a beautiful life of abundance and joy!
I am just so happy to be emotionally stable and mentally sound.
I am just so happy to have so much to appreciate in this very moment, yet also so much to look forward to in this beautiful life.
One day at a time…
It will only get better and better…
Even when it doesn’t exactly feel that way, it will…
I am going to keep reading, journaling, and taking moments to completely disconnect from any stimulation. I don’t always need to keep moving, keep going, keep busy, keep doing, etc. I can just BE.
Just be a human being!
Stay curious, stay kind, stay empathetic.
Let go control!
Radical acceptance.
Trust life!!!
(Not going to overthink this blog post and just click ‘publish’ despite the fact that I still have several more things to type out…till next time!)
With love,
Izzy
♥️
calculatedchaosofthemind 